ABOUT THE RANCH

Where in tarnation are y’all located?
We’re out where the road gets quiet and the cows do the talkin’ — Hayden, Colorado, in the Yampa Valley. It’s peaceful, dusty, and full of critters with more personality than sense.

What do y’all do out there?
We raise Highland cattle, donkeys, ponies, pigs, and more — and turn that ranch lifestyle into the goods you see here: candles, bath products, merch, and the famous Burrotender wedding donkeys.

Can we visit the ranch?
Sure can — sometimes! We open the gates a few times a year for events, photoshoots, and pop-ups. Keep an eye on our socials or subscribe to our email list for invites. If you show up unannounced you will most certainly be put to work.

PRODUCTS & GOODS

Are your products really handmade?
Almost every dang one. We pour, blend, label, and pack each product right here at the ranch — with muddy boots and clean hands. When not handmade we source locally and the highest quality we can get our hooves on.

What’s in your stuff?
Only the good stuff: essential oils, soy wax, natural herbs, and ranch-tested ingredients. No junk, no fuss.

Do you test on animals?
Only on the two-legged kind (aka us). Our donkeys and cows get spa days, not lab days.

Are your jars and tins reusable?
You betcha. We love a good recycle moment. Reuse ’em for matches, cotton balls, feed supplements, or even wildflower seeds.

🚚 SHIPPING & RETURNS

How long does shipping take?
We ship out within 3–5 business days (sometimes faster if we’re not chasing cows). Custom or embroidered orders might need a few more days to wrangle.

Do you ship outside the U.S.?
Not yet, partner — but we’re workin’ on it. For now, we ship anywhere in the States and offer SKIP the SHIP for local delivery or pick up in Hayden or Steamboat Springs.

What if my order arrives wrong or busted?
Well shoot — we’ll fix that right away. Email randomroadranch@gmail.com within 7 days of delivery, and we’ll make it right - but we cannot always we are able to replace with the original product. Some of our items are limited run but we will do our best to replace with a like item.

RANCH MERCH & APPAREL

Are your clothes unisex?
Sure are. Designed to look good on ranch hands, rodeo queens, and little cowpokes alike.

How do I wash my gear?
Cold wash, hang dry — or tumble low if you’re fancy. Keeps that embroidery and print lookin’ crisp as a fall morning.

THE ANIMALS

Do you sell livestock?
Occasionally! We offer Mini Highland calves, ponies, and donkeys when available. They go quick, though — best way to snag one is by reaching out early.

What’s a Burrotender?
Our wedding donkeys — real sweethearts who carry drinks (and steal hearts) at weddings, parties, and special events. They’ve been to more parties than we have!

What’s life like on the ranch?
Equal parts beautiful and chaotic. Mornings start with trying to drink coffee and feed animals, days are filled with our day jobs (Almost Perfect Property), taking care of our animals, managing the ranch store, and family life. Evenings end with sunsets and feed buckets. We wouldn’t trade it for the world.